>I’ve been so damn busy.
work has been nuts, I’ve just been trying to get home in a reasonable ammount of time and relax.

I picked up a Belkin Nostromo Speedpad n52 for gaming, it’s like a hand sized keyboard with ergo rest, thumb directional pad that works like a joystick, and the best part – the macro/remap software for it. It can be any key, joystick or mouse button.

It takes a while to configure, but once you get the hang of it, it’s really comfortable.

I’ve only tried it with the FPS games so far, I’ve gotten back on a Battlefield 2 kick after the last update. They fixed some exploits, no more car bombs (putting mines on a jeep and ramming a tank blows it sky high) as the mines no longer stick to the cars. There’s also a few other items, like being able to see how far until you reach your next level and unlock the other weapons, that are also a plus.

I went to Finish Line this evening, I showed him how he can use his program that he uses all the time to create a web page. He can worry about colors, fonts, all that stuff — I’ll just slice the big pic up for the web and put the text in. I’m thinking it’ll be a couple of hours of web time. It’s not like doing it all myself, but I really don’t have the time for it, and want him to be proud of it. I don’t want him thinking I’m the reason his website isn’t doing well.

It’s how often you change it, what it’s got on it, and what people are searching for to get to your site.

I heard my Dad just got laid off today. I don’t know what to think. He’s got to sell the house — so he says. He always asumes the worst, and at 66 he doesn’t think anyone will hire him. It’s really low that they laid him off, you know they’ll just hire some young kid who’ll get paid a 1/3rd of what they were paying him.

He said something about offering the house up. I don’t have enough to buy it. i would… maybe if he had helped me out. I’d be happy to bail him out, but he never bailed me out. he never gave me any money, said I had to earn it for myself. Well — he’s got to earn it for himself. I know what he’s done to the house, and what it needs… I can’t pay him as much as it’s worth. I can’t live out there and commute to Hartford every day either.

I’m off to St Paul next week — my first trip out there. We’re going out to give everyone the flat panel monitors. Yeehaw, it’s a company standard now 19″ LCDs. It’ll help with morale, make people think we’re doing well. They just laid off 100 people today, I guess it was some programmers, mainly in St Paul. They’re probably doing away with St Paul anyway, just buy them, work them over, and lay them off. It’s how it all works.

At any rate, no one seems to be having much fun except for me. I just ordered my new car, just got approved for a mortgage, and things are going pretty well at the job. We are rated as a whole, accross the entire department and people compete for raises/bonuses based on the level of their performance. Only the top few get it and I’m in the running, but it’s too soon to say if I’ll actually get anything.

I’ll know in another 2 weeks though, and I’ll be sure to note if my negative expectations were just jaded, or warranted.

I just ordered a 2006 Subaru Legacy GT. It’s sweet. 350hp from a 4 cylendar.
I found this K&N air filter but it’s about $400. I’m also wondering about stereo installation, and tires.
Of course I always have to have the best, and it’s unnecessary, especially if I’m getting a house… but I’m working towards my goals and doing well so I’m very happy.

I found a bunch of people I knew from highschool on MySpace linked via Jay and Dan and people. I saw quite a few people from the ol “Drama crew” but am reluctant to talk to anyone. I pissed a lot of people off back then by acting like a tool… seems to be a general pattern of mine. Granted, time has gone by, and it heals all wounds, etc etc but I still feel somewhat weird about it. It was very weird being a teenager, everything was out of whack. I was certainly unbalanced, bipolar, and didn’t know who I was, so I tried being a little bit of everything. that resulted in a lot of failed friendships that were, all in all, my fault. I’m kinda sorry for that, but I have my good friends that have stayed true, even if there were a few bumps and disconnections along the way.

Jay, Justin, and Dan are all still there — I talk with them often, enjoy their company, and they enjoy mine. It’s nothing like any other casual friend I’ve had. They know who I am and they like me, and I enjoy being with them. Being friends shouldn’t be difficult, it just is, and it just feels right.

Thanks guys.