My personal conflicts in playing a transphobic game as a trans woman
2020
“I’m starting to think ‘Hindsight is 20/20’ was a warning for our future” It’s been bad. Mainly with the Covid. It’s a weird world it there. It’s got an effect, a blanket, on (almost) everyone. Things are quieter, despite having to speak up to be heard behind a mask. I’m currently without power just seeping electrons into substance. I needed an update, there ought to be something said about it. I feel repetitive, the same days over and over, I leave once a week to go to the grocery store. I can’t describe the difference in feeling in the world…
Time Check
It’s not quite 8pm. I worked from home today because the kids were here for most of my workday. We had gone up to VT this weekend for my Mom’s birthday party. It was a mixed bag but I was a mess. My Mom apparently didn’t give anyone a heads-up so it was reintroducing myself a few times and having her do it fairly graciously (for her) a few. It was tough regardless and saw what I thought I expected a few times where it was not. One of my aunts who I completely expected to snub me did, but…
Enter the Cray(cray)
Nothing Trying to think about why I am sad. I feel like there are layers of sadness right now. I just spent the weekend with my kids. I was later than I wanted getting up. I was supposed to do more than I did before picking them up. I felt like I needed more time with myself. I also felt bad that I didn’t just go ahead and take them Friday night too. They had it off so they could have come early. The plan was to have my friend come over and hang out. No real purpose, just general…
Past Time
Oblivion, Elder Scrolls IV came out 11 years ago. I remember what I was doing, I remember my life at the time. My wife and I were not married yet, we were living in a second floor apartment 1 street over from our current house. It was a time without kids. She had a part time job and school, I had a good 5 years or so in with my current company. We had two cats, but really that was the extent of our responsibility. I had my dream car, and had yet to modify it too much. It seemed…
1996 – The Year Alternative Rock Died a Messy, Forgettable Death
Some phenomenal hindsight of grunge, alternative rock, and how it became the very thing it stood against. I remember this year vividly. I was 15, at the height of my angst, and this caused me not only to re-live the period but it also provided a unique subtext I was completely oblivious to. On the radio, Goo Goo Dolls’ “Name” bled into Tonic’s “If You Could Only See” into Dishwalla’s “Counting Blue Cars” into The Verve Pipe’s “The Freshmen” into Matchbox Twenty’s “Push” in a watery bouillabaisse of quiet-loud-quiet song structures and sad-bro earnestness. This has to be the most…
YouTube Punished Me For a Sun Fish
So long story short, I’m in the penalty box for YouTube. I had the ability to upload longer than average clips all was going well and good. I grabbed a video with viral-potential from Facebook because no one had done it yet. It was from my home state, shared by one of my friends so I figured I had the jump on it and could possibly get some visibility for my channel. I sucked it down and uploaded it to my channel. It was the MA guy yelling at the sunfish “I think it’s a dead whale, Jay!” and apparently…
Thoughts While AFK
If I want to listen to Paranoid Android, why Spotify, would I want to listen to Interpol. You should know my age by now. No, bad Spotify! Also music related, has Pitbull purchased stock in makers of Fireball whiskey? It’s become a thing and then I hear his song which makes me wonder which came first. The song even breaks down”we are bringing it back” …or maybe he invested in Prilosec. One of the side effects of not only the night of ill repute (6/4-6/5) but the afternoon of attempted mitigation (6/7) was poison ivy/something. I know what to look…
When Next Gen Is Missing the Next
Detail, polygons, shaders… all very important. What I find most important are textures. Artistic and accurate textures can bring life to anything, even simplistic character models and environments. Water looking good — that’s a decent feat, trees with individual leaves, fire, rain, all these things are important little details — like the flipflops flipping in GTA V. They add to the immersion and life of a game. I can not fathom how these next gen consoles are coming out and not supporting 1080p across the board. It seems ludicrous that it wouldn’t be the driving force. My 4 year old…
>Swine Flu
>There’s a “swine flu pandemic” on the news, but the news has been looking for a good widespread disease to report on since mad cow. Bird Flu, Swine Flu… so far 150 cases of people actually dying from it. The (straight up, no frills) flu has killed over 15,000 this year and the swine flu makes the news. I don’t have the swine flu but I do have some odd type of sickness. I’ve been feverish for days with all the normal feverish stuff. I then take 1 ibuprofen, 200mg, and everything goes away. Normally when I have a bad…
>GTA: Lost & Damn It!
>I had my main system drive in RAID striping (no data protection) and sure enough one of the drives went screwy. I had a system backup that I made with Vista Ultimate so I wasn’t that wary of reinstalling. I could pop in the new drive, insert the windows disk and restore, one of the bennefits of Ultimate! It wasn’t like that, not at all – in order to restore off of one of those Windows Image Backups you need to have the same drive configuration as before. My drives were different – so no go. I finally reinstalled fresh…
Back Attack!
This blizzard will be the death of me, I’m currently attempting to ward off back spasms with muscle relaxers and aleve. I was just getting over it too, and now I’ve done WAY too much shoveling. I am writing to try and keep my mind off the spasms, pain, and absence of breath I’m feeling, so I won’t be hurt if you stop reading here 🙂 It started a week ago Thursday. I hurt my back doing nothing special – I was sitting in my office chair and turned right to grab my laptop out of the case on the…
>Gas-ma-geddon
>I just paid $4.19 for Super using CASH. I could have paid $4.39 if I used credit. Separate cash and credit prices?? Way to go back to
>Raflemaffle
>Graff. I’m finally back online.let me just start with the fact that Virtual Machine 2007 started this… wait… maybe MixMan DM2 started this… yeah… I’ve recently gotten a bit of DJ gear. Nothing special, a turntable, then a mixer with the phono on one side and MP3 player or MiniDisk player on the other, followed by a SB Audigy FAT4L1TY. I’m really craving a way to have samples within easy reach. I have the midi keyboard but that was a bit large for what I wanted – here comes sexy DM2 (for XP). Just assign a sound to each little…
>Ponderance
>Hey look at me, I’m updating! They cut off access to Blogger at work, so there hasn’t been much as far as spur of the moment updates. I’ve been doing the (scrolly) links, but not even much time for that anymore. I’ve been getting in like 7:30-8, working through lunch, and staying till at least 5 in most cases. It’s getting to be a grind as of late, especially because I’m not getting the rest I ought to be getting. I’m just not all that quick about getting to bed because I’ve been enjoying the time not working. Computer business…
I’m Board
So I took down my bulletin board. I guess I’m going to have to lock it up. Too many spammers, even with a image test and confirmation email. My next version will have super lock down. I am hoping it can be a sort of mixer place where people can post items they might not necessarily put on their website. Of course it would probably be that much less effort for someone to post it on their website. I can still wish to be the cool kid… I haven’t yet posted today’s links, they’re on the work machine, but here’s…
>You got to laser operator…
>I’m kind of bummed. I volunteered for the Travelers Golf Tournament for the first time this year. I hadn’t heard back from my “team captain” about what I’d be doing, and was also worried about it being so close to the wedding so I told them to please take me off the list. She replies back “They had you down as a laser operator”. A laser operator?? That sounds cool!!!Too late, though. I did find this article about laser operators in golf. I would have been pointing at peoples’ balls with a laser, measuring their location for input into the…