It has waxed and waned over the past few months but I am attempting too grasp a true appreciation in life. I’m taking stock and even thought to myself the other morning, as I was listening to my morning as conference call and cleaning out the dishwasher, that I should write down the tidbits here and there that make me smile. I specifically want to note the high spots that I never seem to be able to remember when I’m feeling down on myself. I have heard from those older and wiser that many times it is those little things that make all the shit inbetween worth it.
I don’t write, I type… Or in this case draw lines between letters with my right index finger. I am hoping I can be more aware of these things and derive more pleasure from the mundane.
I’m in the lump again. I feel like I’m doing the same thing day in, day out, not really eating, grooming, and just feel obligated to keep going, so I do. I can’t even get my shit together enough to pick up stuff, put away my laundry, wash some work pants, iron some shirts to give me more than the same set of clothes. I have enough of clothes, this can’t be a real issue. I have too many… A side effect of working at the mall for a few years… Over ten years ago. Some of the clothes I bought then are finally wearing out and I haven’t been replacing them.
I’m ready to throw out all my Sox, but 3 bags of all the same, white and dress. I am slightly colorblind so matching blue Brown and black Ann’s Greg can sometimes be a challenge and the dress stocks I have are mangled and singles, nothing but singles it seems.
A just remembered getting her Minnie mouse at the store with her great grandmother, about a year ago. She died recently so the thought that she remembered that happy time brought me to tears.i was able to give her a big hug and akiss goodnight. She didn’t know, and might not even hang on to that memory but it was a happy dad thought since I never met most of my grand parents, let alone great grand parents.
I also tried to read to G. I didn’t want to read hearty litter and he flips out if he’s not completely coddled and comfortable with what a story could entail. He was very tired to, but I really look forward to reading some exporting books Mywith him. mom always read worth me but my dad never really could. He tried but he was slow, would miss-read or not really know the words.. I want to to experience that both with him and for him. I gave him snuggles instead and he picked up a superman comic as I said goodnight to him.
IPad is bad type, me edit later on real computer.