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Rachel took me out on Saturday -- a bit of a pre-birthday celebration, we went out to Wayland MA for a play. It was a community theater, but in name only. The name of the play was: Picasso - Pablo Picasso and Albert Einstein meet in a bar in France, 1903. Written by Steve Martin, and being of the absurdist genre... it was marvelous, and wonderfully apt for a person such as myself. I was enjoying the show, the random happenings, the silly conversations, and the intricate descriptions of man/woman relations when the words hit me like a slap. I feel a bit like Pablo -- seeing what it's like, everywhere I turn, I wonder... I have an earnest feeling behind it, most of the time. Other times it's just convenient, there, walking by... but often I long for that perfect pinnacle of all I've ever wanted. It'll never be so, I know it, but yet I wonder... how many more before I'm back where I started? There's just so much uncertainty, so much not yet done. My apologies to all the paintings imagined, but never painted... and to those that I've painted unintentionally, but turned out to be the most beautiful. posted @ 01:33 post://108053945816993951/ After an agonizing evening scrawling countless different gaming files sites, I am very excited to share this information: The All Seeing Eye - a multiplayer gaming tool better then gamespy, and geared towards MODs. FileShack - multiplayer gaming files, MODs, etc with no waiting, and wide open servers. Thanks to Justin for that tidbit. ;) I stopped at my Mom's today for a birthday dinner of sorts. She cooked one of my favorites: Salmon Wiggle. Sounds funny, but it's some VT thing. She also got me something to open: Mr Clean carwash. I had already gotten it for my bithday, but that was fine by me. I stopped by Walmart and returned it in order to get something I've been wanting for a while: Battlefield 1942, mainly because I know people on it. There's some pretty bad-ass mods out for it, too -- like Desert Combat - a total conversion to modern desert warware. I just got back from Hooters however, Justin and some friends came out for dinner -- then they all stopped back here and hung out for a bit before going home. I must say it wasn't a very Hooters-like experience, but at least the wings tasted like they ought to be renowned for them this time. It was a good'ol fashioned Sunday night out - a little beer, some wings, and watching "Jesus" the TV movie in Hooters. posted @ 00:50 -x-
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post://108019759873943740/ Well -- weather permitting tmw in VT, I will hopefully get one more day of snowboarding in. I'm going up with some friends, am trying out a new board... might buy it if it treats me well. It's nice and all, a tad pricey for what I was looking for -- especially with the lack of steady employment and all. Another website, system, or ebay sale and I should be all set... but there's so much else I could do with that money. I'm not well... financially. Lack of work, continued rent and bills... it doesn't look good. I worry about it sometimes... then things will look like they're coming around, and then some emergency expenditure arises. It's always the surprises that... surprise you. Laura's moving in, and possibly a friend of hers... if that's the case then things could be turning around. I might be able to pull off this whole training thing, afterall. A full house is ok by me, I can live with it. Hell -- at this point I welcome it. So maybe I can let my head rest for a bit, get some sleep instead of tossing and turning. Can someone turn my brain off for a little while? posted @ 01:45 post://108019710035638803/ Friday's the big day -- celebration time. I put things together myself this time. I normally just pretend I don't want to do anything, and secretly hope someone will do something. That's so high school mopey man. I just want to be around friends, people who make me feel good. I've invited many, will be expecting few, but that's alright. The ones who show are the truer of the few. I washed my car for the first time this season with a little help from Mr Clean. I've watched the commercials for months now, it finally made it to stores, and extra cheap w/ rebate. It works really well, unfortunately I sponged and sponged but still missed spots. The areas that I sponged well dried with no spots, and the car looks great as a whole. I was very happy with my purchase, and could use some replacement soap and filters if anyone's looking for something small ;) Or take me shopping @ GAP where there's clothes I want, but don't have the $10 extra... or at least a good justification of more clothes. I like presents, but have learned to not require them to feel good. I'm glad just to have the people I love surrounding me, those which make me me, and like me that way. To those that do -- you know who you are, hugs all the way around. =] posted @ 01:40 -x-
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post://107963612245457401/ Here's an excellent video. (300k) "You're no good for me... but you're the only one I see." ...and a video from Chemical Brothers, lots of marshal arts and well-placed records, boomboxes, and turntables. Movies I want to see over the course of my birthday weekend: (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) Scooby Doo 2 Jersey Girl Ladykillers Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind The Whole Ten Yards Music: Sarah McLachlan - Afterglow Tori Amos - Tales of a Librarian Unfortunately there don't seem to be any books that would interest me that I don't already have in my possession. If that changes, I'll note it ;) I've slept just fine this morning - right through to the afternoon in fact. Unfortunately I have classes in the morning. I know I can continue reading the book, use the router simulator, and I'll be just fine and dandy but not quite confident enough to warrant missing class. I'm just disappointed, but spring break starts on Monday, so I guess it's going to be a bit early for me. Yesterday I read some more chapters in my book(s) to catch up a little. I should install the router sim and make a mini-network to practice, too. It's a bit like DOS, this router business, and the various things you need to do can be equated to naming your computer or prompt, formatting the hard drive, and running a program or two as well as setting up a network. I guess I could have simply said: it's all about the memorization. That wouldn't have gotten across how geeky it all is, however. ;) At any rate, I shall now enjoy myself and the day. posted @ 13:55 -x-
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post://107944474112333337/ No one could believe there eyes when they got there. We'd been displaced by a mechanical bull. A local industrial night has been going on in Springfield for a month or two now. I've only been once before, but last night there was something different. It was already somewhat of a buzzkill walking into "The Salty Dog" for Construct. A local bar with chairs made of roughly hewn 2x4s, barrels on their ends as tables, metal nostalgia signs on the walls, a big safe, some old clawed chairs, and countless other nick-knacks adorning the walls - it's not exactly the ideal setting for a goth/industrial night. I'd call it a western flavor, but with a mishmash of everything inbetween. However, this time where the dancefloor once was, there was a large mechanical bull. It had a barrier around it, a brass fence of sorts, and it was surrounded by an inflatable cushion. Absolutely useless space -- no walking, no dancing... and thereby everyone was displaced to the 6 feet in front of the DJ stage or to the sides if they wanted to dance. It had a very strange effect over people. If there was any doubt before, they realized this was not their space -- merely a night held for them at a local western-themed bar. No one really wanted to dance, I myself was unsure of where to dance. I wanted to be in front of the stage, but that was mostly in the way of passer-bys. Everyone was awkward, unsure where to be, and somewhat miffed at the sight of this bull -- I know I was. All in all it was an odd situation. Certainly no one expected that tonight they'd find themselves displaced by a mechanical bull. posted @ 08:45 -x-
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post://107872536925187500/ Oh man... what a couple of days. I had my wisdom tooth pulled on Friday. Just one, thankfully. I had a filling in it, which apparently weakened the tooth because a chunk broke off the side. So after a week of cutting my cheek to shreds I decided I might as well have it pulled. I don't have insurance, and it seemed the cheap way to go. $80 isn't so bad as however much it would cost for a filling that would probably just break again anyway. I don't have enough room in my mouth for all the teeth as it is. My bottom teeth have overlapped since my wisdom teeth came in, resulting in a smile that's a far cry from the perfect result of braces 6 years ago. It wasn't as easy as everyone said -- after at least 30 min of pulling and yanking and trying to get it out, he decided to split the tooth with the drill and pull out each half individually. It certainly was an ordeal -- the reason being that each root of the tooth was hooked, anchored in tight. They gave me tylenol with codeine for the pain, which was a laugh. It might have been funnier for me if I wasn't in such excruciating pain. Luckily a friend had an extra few percocets which did the trick, unlike their mild acetominophen-ian cohort. (both Tylenol w/ codeine and percocets are a base of acetominophen w/ a few mg of the good stuff) So that set the tone for the next few days. It was either pain, or a foggy cloud of relief. Not the sort of thing I was looking for with a giantic work-load over my head. CCNA reading, studying for my A+(OS) test on Wed, trying to finish the web page for Finish Line Graphics (which I know he's not going to like, anyhow -- it's too mod, very unlike his boring logo with the protractor), and allocating time where needed. All this built up, and Saturday I suppose I had a mini-breakdown of sorts, brought on by being clouded, stressed, and sick of having a nagging thought in the back of my mind. Here I am with someone who's as close to me as I've ever had, is pleased with me how I am, doesn't ask for me to change... and it still doesn't feel right -- somehow. I think if things were different, I wasn't so every which way... I've lost myself somewhere in the tussle, need to rearrange my life to better express who and how I am. I'm just not able to place it, describe it, or make much sense of it. The one thing I do know is that I have to be alone to be able to figure it out. So thats it for now, I've wasted enough time. Oh, one more thing -- I found a clip of me dancing. ;) posted @ 00:36 -x-
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